Tip Jar – Michelle Adams’ blog about balancing your work-life blend

I’ve been at several cocktail parties lately where people have been discussing the status of their employment. It’s an interesting thread as almost everyone who commented is either unhappy with their current role, actively looking for something new, or wishing that they could. It started me thinking about self employment. Sure, there have been days that the grass seems greener. The idea of wonderful benefits, corporate paid training and development, four weeks paid (really paid) time off and stock options. It all sounds great on paper; however, I quickly come back down and realize that I’m obsessively committed to this. I started to think that maybe there is something about people who are destined for self employment – a sort of wiring.

When I came to this “ah-ha” moment over the weekend I saw how this has translated into other areas of my life. I’ve been discussing this pending adoption for months now. It truly has been one of the most testing experiences of my life. Imagine knowing that a child exists, holding him, and receiving photos of him, yet every day waiting for the call. Will they allow you to bring him home or will they call you only to say it’s not going to work out? It’s probably the tightrope we all walk; I just don’t think we think of it that way. We all assume that everything will be okay. It’s most likely a healthier way to live; however, this adoption has given me a deeper perspective of just how fragile everything really is. I did get a call and they are now telling us it will work out. It’s funny – after more than a year of working on this you’d think I would have been ecstatic. If I’ve learned anything about this process, though, it’s that it is unpredictable. So this mechanism took over and I’m proceeding with optimistic caution.

And then there are my children. Our middle daughter was diagnosed with a speech delay. At the time we jumped in and did what any parent would do – speech therapy. However, what took me years to truly understand is that it was an underlying symptom to future delays. I think people are afraid to tell you the real truth. We are a sugar-coat, freak-out society, especially about our children. Who wants to hear the hard things? We just want them to go away. She was having a very difficult time with school. It’s almost like she is a step behind. Our schools kept telling us everything was fine, yet I just knew that was the easy answer. Through networking, digging, and difficult interactions we finally got to the issue – dyslexia. It’s not easy when you push yourself or your entire family into completely unfamiliar and scary territory. You keep hoping along the way that you’re wrong, but there is something that just won’t go away – call it the voice in your head, intuition, or common sense – you just know. The best news is that we found this amazing jewel in our community – Marburn Academy. My daughter is receiving the help she needs and has made significant progress.

I started running two years ago. Truly it has been the drug that keeps me going. It can be 10 p.m. at night, and I must get it in. It’s my time. I clear my head and feel like everything comes back into perspective. Though these past several weeks a few things have started to hurt (knees, ankles, etc.); it’s really not terrible. A few friends told me this would come. They said it happens at 40. I really refused to believe there was an age. If I feel good, I can make it happen, right?

Reflecting on some of these truly painful (literally and figuratively) times of my life, one common denominator prevails – perseverance. Sure it would be easier to change every time something just doesn’t fit. I’m not advocating dying on the sword, but rather, a little nudging into those uncomfortable closets. I have found some of the greatest lights are truly at the end of the tunnel. It was Robert Frost who said – “I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” I’m glad I did.

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